nine lives
Calm fills my body with soft cotton. I am deeply quiet, distantly interested in the world around me. I enjoy the flowers on my walk, but I must keep them to myself. I can hear the emptiness in my mind, echoing footsteps in a clean warehouse. My thoughts are light as seed fluff, floating gentle and free but wary of the shadow animal that disappears at the far edge of the light. I'm able to carry on, but I know the loss will both blunt with time and continue to wound me as it catches and cuts. For now, my mind is suddenly unoccupied with trying to figure out an impossible question, suddenly free to muse over problems that are finite, ideas that can grow. I am alone. My dreams are simple and peaceful. No more being torn in two, they're New Start dreams. Building things, meeting people, the mundane. My down comforter is soft and light. I keep remembering we still need to cut yours down. Not the only time something weightless felt so heavy. We've been through this cycle at leas...