Dear G

I'm crying tonight because I'm lonely. So lonely. It came on like a car crash. I'd been driving along, thinking things were fine and then suddenly I'm a wreck. I realize in spite of the many great friendships I've had in my life, I can't think of one person I could call right now and just cry on the phone and they'd be available and know me well enough to help. People are too busy, too occupied by their own things, too distant, too inaccessible. I think that's part of why you and I make me so desperately sad. You are *right there* and want to be there for me all the time, but my hope of what we could be is getting smaller and smaller. The more I've tried to explain the depths of my heart and my faith, the conversations I want to have that actually lead to growth and understanding, the more odd and distorted our connection becomes, the less I feel I can trust you. Your responses show me you *don't* get it, our talks are disconnected and don't ...